


this is what it feels like when we both collide

by superhusbands



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, amidst a sea of angst and smut, just a little bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:57:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5673571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superhusbands/pseuds/superhusbands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>set after tfa -- hux gets kylo to medical and they have a conversation.<br/>turns out, hux has been hiding things. kylo doesn't like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is what it feels like when we both collide

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be fluff.  
> it ended up being sort of fluffy / angsty mess  
> idk what I'm doing with my life

"Well, well... glad to see that you're awake. It would have been a shame if you bled out in my quarters. It would have taken weeks to get the stench of your decaying, grotesque, corpse out of the room."

Kylo frowned as he struggled to keep his eyes open, the white of the medical wing causing his vision to swim as he groaned. Every breath he took ached, every attempt to see felt like he was shoving shard of glass straight into his retinas, and the only positive that he'd managed to come up with was that he was clearly still alive. Death would be much less painful. Much quieter too, his mind added, as Hux continued his diatribe. 

"I don't know what the Supreme Leader sees in you." Hux continued, and Kylo could see the sneer on his face without having to look at him. White hot anger pulsed through him, fists clenched at his sides, and were he at his best? Hux would be devouring his own tongue for daring to think -- let alone  _speak --_ about him the way that he was.  _He_ was the chosen one, was the true Master of the dark side of the Force, and Hux had  _no idea_ what he was capable of. He had a half mind to show him. "...taken apart by the scavenger girl and the defector. Honestly, Ren, I thought you were better than that."

"Yes, well.." After a moment Kylo spoke, hating how raspy his voice sounded. Clearly it hadn't been used in awhile. How long had he been out? What had happened in his absence? "Suffice to say, I was at a slight... disadvantage. The Wookie was... a surprise." He kept his voice calm, detached, knowing that his mask being off left him at a disadvantage. Snoke always said that he was too emotional, his face too descriptive, and he'd fallen into the habit of schooling his features and remaining emotionless. It kept his true intentions buried deep, exposed for only those he chose to share with. "It won't happen again."

"Of course it won't happen again." Hux snapped, coming into view once Kylo had managed to struggle his eyes open, his arms crossed over his chest defiantly. At first glance he looked exactly the same, but something was... off. "Your recklessness nearly cost the First Order a great deal, Ren. Your fixation with that..." He trailed off, like he didn't want to finish his sentence, and his anger spoke again as he remembered.  _The girl. She had the saber, the one that was meant to be **his.**_ His anger swirled through him, running like a river, and he took a shaky breath amidst the pain as he shook his head. This wasn't just his anger he was feeling. There was more. He was feeling Hux's rage through the force, exposed and open for him to channel. To feel. 

Hux's mind was open, less guarded than it usually was, and he let his eyes slip closed as he just...  _felt._

Oh he was angry, there was no denying that, but there was something else there too.   
Rich anger, coiling rage, fists clenched at his sides as he ordered the stormtroopers to get someone -- oh, him -- back onto the ship. And then pain,  _so much pain,_ and it was so overwhelming he forgot to breathe for a moment as he reeled backwards and his eyes snapped open. 

Hux had been in pain. He'd been hurt... but here he was, standing before him, with not a scratch on him.

"You were hurt." He spoke up after a moment of silence, eyes narrowed as he locked his eyes on Hux. Suspicion washing over him like a blanket. There was something missing, a piece that didn't quite fit into the puzzle, and he hated it. "Have you gone to the Refresher?"

"No." Hux spoke clearly, not an ounce of emotion or expression that could give him away. His shoulders were squared, rigid once more as Kylo caught what looked like a flash of steely fury that was gone so quickly he couldn't be sure that he'd even seen it. "I haven't. Stay out of my head, Ren."

"I felt your pain." Kylo said with a shake of his head, ignoring the stabbing pain in his side as he stood. He was wearing robes -- dark grey, thinner and softer than anything he'd ever pick for himself, and he barely recognized himself when he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror across the room. His hair was mussed, like it hadn't been brushed in awhile, and there were bandages covering the gash that marred the left side of his face. It'd likely scar. He kind of hoped that it would. It would be a reminder of his failure, of the brief moment where the Resistance and the light side had nearly gotten the best of him. He wouldn't be letting it happen again. Tearing his eyes away from his reflection, he focused them back on Hux. "I felt it. It was crushing you, as if you were in a vice grip." He took a few steps closer to Hux, eyes narrowed as he inspected him accusingly. What cause did Hux have to hide his injuries from him? It couldn't be a fear of exposing a weakness. Here he was, wounds exposed for the world to see. There was nothing to hide here. Not that anyone could, really, hide anything from the Master of the Knights of Ren. What he wanted, he took. "Tell me."

"There is nothing to tell..." Hux managed to grit out, his composure slipping slightly as his jaw set and his eyebrows narrowed. He looked angry, Kylo could feel the anger, and it made him take another step closer. Like a moth drawn to a flame. "You shouldn't be up yet. Your wounds will take another day or two to heal. Like I said, I don't want you bleeding out all over my floors. Your actions have already resulted in the destruction of my base.." Hux's lips twisted upwards into a cruel smirk. "Must you ruin the floors too?"

"You're deflecting." Kylo realized, voicing his suspicions aloud as he brought his hand up to curve through the air. He closed his eyes, the force flowing through him, as he focused on Hux. He could feel the tension setting between his shoulders, the sharp grind of his teeth mashing together, and the panic that surrounded every fibre of his being. Hux was keeping something from him, something important, and the anger consumed him again. How  _dare_ he. "If you won't tell me, I'll take it for myself." He warned. "You know I will." They both do. They both know that anything Kylo wanted, he would get. The girl --  _Rey,_ his mind supplied. He'd grabbed the name from Han Solo moments before he'd ripped him apart --  had been the only person Kylo hadn't been able to fully penetrate. The Force was strong within her, stronger than even she knew, and it was one of the few things that made his blood run cold. She was a problem for another time, however. 

"Have you ever considered..." Hux drawled, his eyes snapping up to meet Kylo's intense gaze with one of his own. "...that perhaps you don't need to know everything. Not when it doesn't concern you. Not when -- "

Hux trailed off as Kylo grabbed him by the throat, fingers tightening their hold as he screwed his eyes shut. Even when he was wounded and at his weakest, the Force bent to his will. It came to him, begged him to channel it, and he was happy to oblige. For as cold and controlled as Hux was, his mind was too easy to penetrate. He flipped through images like they were pages in a book, confusion flooding through him as he processed the feelings that were associated with them. There was a lot of determination, pride, and passion -- Hux was one of the most ambitious people aboard the Starkiler, he wasn't all that shocked or surprised to feel all of that-- but he was surprised by the other things... the loneliness, the longing, and... 

He threw himself out of Hux's mind as his hand let go, the other man stumbling back from him as Kylo watched him in horror. The things he'd seen, the things he'd felt...

"I told you." Hux managed, straightening out his robes and looking far more composed than Kylo would have expected for someone who'd had all of his secrets, all of the feelings he'd chosen to hide, exposed for his enemy to see. Or rival, really. more-so than enemy. His mind spread out before him like a series of paintings. "Not everything is meant to be seen. Not even by you."

Anger surged through him again. Kylo held up his hand and commanded Hux near him, the other man stumbling before the power of the force held him in place. It was a dirty trick, one that he would regret later on. Kylo took a step closer to him, hesitated only a second before bringing his hand up to smooth over Hux's cheek and down to his shoulder. He didn't speak, simply letting his hand and the power of the force wash over the General. He felt the shudder before he saw it and he smirked crudely before taking a step closer. "I see your thoughts, General." He spoke quietly, voice as calm and detached as if he was commanding his men to battle. "I see what you want, what you crave. I should kill you for it." His hand pressed against the curve of Hux's cheek, fingers splayed out over his throat as he pulled him that much closer. There were only inches left between them and if Kylo closed his eyes, he'd be able to feel the warmth of Hux's breath against the curve of his neck, hear the beat of his heart and the sharp intake of breath as he leaned forward. "Tell me, General... is this what you expected? Is this what you thought it would be like?"

"You were always taller in my dreams."

Kylo swallowed up his quip with a kiss as he surged forward, lips colliding in a mess of teeth and tongue. Each of them fighting for dominance, for control of the kiss, until Hux's body was flush against Kylo's and he had his hands tangled in the General's hair. He could feel Hux groaning and cursing his existence without him even opening his mouth, his mind still an open book for him to peruse at will. It was too much and not enough at once, and he had to pull back in order to gain his footing. He almost laughed when Hux seemed to practically  _pout_ when he pulled away, shaking his head. 

"Try not to be so eager, General. It's not becoming on you." 

What the General would have said in response, he'd never know. Instead he'd tugged him in close again, arms encircling his waist, as he pressed a kiss against the corner of his mouth. It was more chaste than the last, a promise of more to come before he turned and settled back down onto the cot. He knew that it was wrong to want things, that this could only be interpreted as a distraction, but he could still taste the promise, the control, and the  _power_ that practically oozed from Hux when they kissed. He was delirious off of it. Intoxicated from the mere idea of it all.

No, Hux wouldn't be a distraction. If anything, he would make him more powerful. His ambition, ruthlessness, and resolve would keep him on the right path. Any inclination he had to stray from his path, deviate from his training, would be stricken from his mind. The call to the light that threatened to seduce him would hardly stand a chance. When Hux's lips crushed against his own, he truly felt the power of the dark side. He knew that Hux considered his feelings to be a weakness, considered desire to be for the foolish and the impetuous, but Kylo believed the obvious. They'd burn so bright that anyone who tried to come near them, tried to interfere, would be burned in their wake. Even themselves.

 


End file.
